Chelm Business & Services Directory
Good people, useful services. Explore local businesses, trades and professional services by category.
אִם אֵין אֲנִי לִי, מִי לִי. וּכְשֶׁאֲנִי לְעַצְמִי, מָה אֲנִי. וְאִם לֹא עַכְשָׁיו, אֵימָתַי:
He [Rabbi Hillel] used to say: If I am not for me, who will be for me? And when I am for myself alone, what am I? And if not now, then when?
Pirkei Avos 1:14
Carpentry1
The Crooked Measuring Tape
Carpenter Dovid (fictional)
We measure twice, cut once, and then vote on whether the board was straight to begin with.
Service area: Chelm (fictional)
FICTIONAL DEMONSTRATION — not a real business or service.
Locksmiths1
Chelm Locksmith & Key Misplacement
Binyomin the Locksmith (fictional)
Locked out? We can help you search the pockets you already checked. We also offer decorative keyholes.
Service area: Chelm (fictional)
FICTIONAL DEMONSTRATION — not a real business or service.
Plumbing1
The Bottomless Bucket Plumbing Co.
Mendel the Plumber (fictional)
We fix every leak by moving the bucket directly underneath it. Free estimates, measured in drips.
Service area: Chelm (fictional)
FICTIONAL DEMONSTRATION — not a real business or service.
Roofing1
The Upside-Down Roofing Company
Roofmaster Velvel (fictional)
We install roofs underneath houses so the rain cannot find them. Ask about our basement skylights.
Service area: Chelm (fictional)
FICTIONAL DEMONSTRATION — not a real business or service.
Music Lessons1
Chelm School of Music
Reb Fiddle (fictional)
We teach the rests first. The notes can wait until next term.
Service area: Chelm (fictional)
FICTIONAL DEMONSTRATION — not a real business or service.
Automotive & Transportation3
Chelm Straight-Line Navigation
Guide Yossel (fictional)
Every journey begins with a circle. Our maps have no corners, so nobody gets lost at a turn.
Service area: Chelm (fictional)
FICTIONAL DEMONSTRATION — not a real business or service.
Roundabout Taxi of Chelm
Driver Fishel (fictional)
Every route is scenic, especially the ones that bring you back to where you started.
Service area: Chelm (fictional)
FICTIONAL DEMONSTRATION — not a real business or service.
Tomorrow Yesterday Delivery
Shmuel the Messenger (fictional)
Your package was delivered next week. We are still waiting for the receipt from last month.
Service area: Chelm (fictional)
FICTIONAL DEMONSTRATION — not a real business or service.
Business & Professional2
The Lost & Found Detective Agency
Detective Hershel (fictional)
Specializing in locating things precisely where you last looked.
Service area: Chelm (fictional)
FICTIONAL DEMONSTRATION — not a real business or service.
Wisdom & Sons Consulting
The Council of Seven (fictional)
We hold meetings to decide whether the previous meeting was necessary.
Service area: Chelm (fictional)
FICTIONAL DEMONSTRATION — not a real business or service.
Events & Hospitality2
Chelm Wedding Planning Committee
Chairman Berel (fictional)
We seat everyone at the head table. Additional heads available by request.
Service area: Chelm (fictional)
FICTIONAL DEMONSTRATION — not a real business or service.
The Very Quiet Orchestra
Maestro Pinchas (fictional)
For weddings and simchas: all the excitement of a full orchestra without waking the neighbors. Instruments optional.
Service area: Chelm (fictional)
FICTIONAL DEMONSTRATION — not a real business or service.
Home & Trades2
The Chelm Ladder Company
Master Shloime (fictional)
Our ladders are shorter at the top, to save you the trouble of climbing all the way.
Service area: Chelm (fictional)
FICTIONAL DEMONSTRATION — not a real business or service.
The Clock That Runs Backwards
Yankel the Timekeeper (fictional)
Your appointment is always yesterday, but we promise to arrive tomorrow.
Service area: Chelm (fictional)
FICTIONAL DEMONSTRATION — not a real business or service.
Personal & Family1
The Half-Finished Tailor
Mottel the Tailor (fictional)
We shorten sleeves until both are exactly the same length, eventually.
Service area: Chelm (fictional)
FICTIONAL DEMONSTRATION — not a real business or service.
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